Seasonal struggles, terrifying insecurities, and writing for catharsis. November is a month of coming darkness but with the ignition of little lights, finding that light that sparks things in you, that brightens your path and helps find your way. And I’m still finding my way, but a light has been kindled. Now I just need to keep it alive.
This damn month, every year again. It’s so many things rolled up in one and though this year seems better than the last, it still is hard. I still struggle. I still hurt. But I’m not completely taken down. I’ll get through it again.
Reflections
Because of how these end of the year months are for me, I’ll be taking things slow. I won’t expect too much in terms of productivity. Instead, I expect myself to do plenty of self-care and rest as much as possible.
Usually, the struggle starts earlier, and well, it did in a sense, but I still powered through somehow. Not in a sense of forcing myself to go above and beyond, because I truly believe that is a toxic mindset. It would destroy me. No, for me it was powering through by taking breaks, reflect and take care of my needs as best I could. There are things which I couldn’t do or which I neglected. I’m not proud of all of it, but I survived, in a sense. So, seeing that I wrote 31.300 words on top of that, it’s a complex feeling that simmers within me thinking of that.
As to last month’s goals, I did exchange works with critique partners, wrote a newsletter, but didn’t brainstorm book 2. Instead of book 2, I brainstormed short stories I could write to give my ace romance series a rest.
The numbers
Total wordcount for October: 31.300
Projects: Cursed enemies to lovers (working title)
This month I broke the 200.000 words written with drafting alone
Of what’s to come
I’ll be taking things slow. One day at a time. During the moments that I’ll be writing I’ll work on finishing my “Cursed enemies to lovers” WIP. I’ve got a final ARC to write for that one, so I expect I’ll need December as well to finish it, which’ll be perfect timing. Coming January I hope to have all feedback for Meet Me Halfway back and start another round of edits. As I get my novel back, I’ll be leaving this novella in the hands of critique partners again.
I will also take a break from Twitter. With everything that’s going on, I can’t take it right now when it constantly keeps throwing these surprise moments of psychological terrors. Okay, terror might be putting it too harshly, but it keep sucker-punching me and I don’t have the spoons to scramble myself together anymore.
Next steps
- Finish November’s newsletter
- Write December’s newsletter
- Write new chapters for Cursed enemies to lovers WIP
- Read lots of books
Hoping it’ll be a good month! You can find my 2019 writing bucket list here.